Dr laura schlessinger dating advice

Too many folks seem to believe that they have to filet themselves wide open on the cutting board of their new relationships in order truly to be cleansed.

These are the folks who have no sense of personal privacy at all.

Stupid Pettiness Making a big deal out of the small stuff4. Stupid Priorities Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship6.

Stupid Happiness Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good7.

Stupid Secrets Withholding important information for fear of rejection2.

Stupid Egotism Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you3.

If they don't have this constant reassurance of information (their attempt to control the world and make themselves safe), they immediately imagine the worst and exaggerate and misinterpret everything and anything -- leaving a wake of arguments and frustration. Reprinted by permission of Harper Collins Publishers, Inc. Though this specific question may stimulate snickers and outright laughs, the basic question is an important one: What, if any, information from your past are you obligated to reveal during dating, engagement, and marriage? And on the flip side, is there any danger in "the whole truth, and nothing but the truth"?

If you're a teenage mother and go to work, don't let Schlesinger know that you leave your child at a daycare center or, as Schlesinger calls them, "day orphanage centers." If you can't stay home with your child Schlesinger believes you should give him or her up for adoption.

If your kids do drugs, cut them off; if you do drugs, just stop. A mother of a 17-year-old boy once called in to ask what to do about the fact that her son had impregnated a 17-year-old girl who then insisted on having the baby.

He should have thought about that before he acted so irresponsibly! For Schlesinger, personal responsibility is always suffused with blame and harsh judgment. Don't get me wrong-even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and sometimes a confrontation with parents who are unable to control children or with people wrapping themselves in feelings of victimization and entitlement is just what the doctor-a real doctor-would order.

" Good and smart people might disagree about the various options available to this young couple and their families, but to Schlesinger, it's always black and white, right or wrong. Milder versions of Schlesinger's simplistic moral rigidity can be found in some of the "tough love" advice given to parents of limit-testing adolescents, as well as in the subtext of some of Dr. Audiences like it when lax or overwhelmed parents are given a good harsh scolding, and are told to buck-up and get tough with their kids. But Schlesinger, Dobson, and others from the fire-and-brimstone school of family values have a deeper agenda.

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Our cultural environment propels otherwise reasonably secure and well-meaning people to question the sincerity and fidelity of their dates, fiancés, and spouses like never before in history. The answer is as simple as it is destructive: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships. The first issue to think about when deciding "what to tell" is to be able to distinguish between secrecy and privacy.

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